New Years Eve and Day - Days 3&4

Dear devoted followers,

This is Aaron posting for the second time. Day 2 i need to backdate a bit to update everyone - so Im not gonna lie - the beaches here are a bit dissapointing. Well dissapointing isn't a fare statement either. In fact - there are no beaches, or there are, but they are private and on islands. So we chartered two boats with a captain, 7 people on each boat, ...think Gilligan's island meets rastafarian island vibe. You get on the boat which looks like it is about to sink. Its got shoddy paint, an engine that goes putt putt and a captain who lets just say has very red eyes, skin like a crocodile, and several bottles of rum port side. However, this is not just any boat. It is fully stocked with a wet bar where Marley himself (el capitaan) makes fantastic caprinhas with fresh lime and guava on command...truly special. The goal is to either lounge on the top of the boat while the intense sun burns your skin to a crisp or until you get hot enough that it is so unbearable you have to immediately strip naked (thats the thing in brazil...guys and gals wear thongs...yikes) and you jump from the top of the boat into the beautiful serene water (half inebriated and impaired by other possible substances that may cause bouts of intense hunger). So the boat pulls up to these beautiful rainforest islands, kind of like the one from leonardo dicrapio movie in Thailand. Anyway, you jump off the top of the boat and begin to swim in what is the warmest and clearest water you have ever seen. We did some killer snorkeling and saw lots of yellow, purple, and other striped fish not to mention a bright orange 1 foot diameter star fish! beautiful. Day 4 ie today, we even saw a 3 foot sea turtle...I thought those only existed in zoos!

As the day meandered on I became more and more sunburned. We stopped off at one of the islands for lunch. Now imagine a rainforest with a single hut, a bunch of tiki torches and fresh fish...that is lunch...plus lots of booz...mainly beer and caprinhas. Now, since my ulcer, I kind of been having trouble drinking without my meds. although, I forget my meds for the past few days and not kidding, i wake up at 10 am and have a beer before i leave the house for the boat. As soon as boat leaves port everyone must drink two beers. Once we jump in water caprinhas are made by el capitan...and these are super strong...mind you its not even noon!!! Lunch there are several drinks shared, followed by a smoke or two, and then dinner and later evening is like a shit show...but every night...and people don't sober up in morning, just repeat! So on the one hand this has got to be killing my ulcer and liver...on the other hand, i haven't gotten sick yet (danielle has several times). I attribute the coincidence to sanitization...excessive alchohol kills whatever is in the water and food!

When you get back to port, tired, haggard, just wishing for a dip in the pool and a beautiful brazillian to massage your back (other parts perhaps as well :-) ) there are street vendors selling coconuts...nothing makes an adolescent's mind wander than big, juicy, green on the outside, milky white on the inside coconuts! Monty python comes to mind...no? Any event, these coconuts are three times the size of the ones we get back home, (i swear, im not jealous) the locals take a machete, hack off the top (briss style), and stick in a straw...its the most sweet, succulant, and refreshing drink I have ever had...and according to steve goes fantastic with rum, gin, and lots of other alchohols.

Later that night, I decided to ditch the older crowd and go to a club in Paraty called 33....I was warned many a time that it was likely shit, but in the spirit of trying new things while in brazil, I decided to give it a whirl....definately dissapointing...was tiny, hot as hell, and the combination of not speaking portugese and a relatively uninteresting crowd (at least visually and they refused to speak english...what gives?) the night only lasted a few hours...that and they were playing eighties music via a portugese cover band...arghh...so i went home around three with one of the boys...this goes under the fall off the horse get back on again category...to be continued...

Day 3 (ie New Years Eve) started off a bit slow - We slept in super late anticipating a late night. Mom, Dad, Aaron, Danielle, Steve and Eva decided to take a stroll in the town to do some shopping. The town is lovely, a portugese version of Williamsburg virginia meets Soho/Chinatown. Lots of little posch shops mixed in with vendor stalls selling chatchkes (spelling?). After a bit of walking Dani and I decided to break off and do our own thing. Suprisingly, food here is quite expensive ie 20 bucks for meal, yet bracelets, tshirts, and other small handicrafts are quite inexpensive...so if you're lucky you might get a gift when we return..yay...

After meandering the streets for a long afternoon, a swim and nap were in order. Then the New Years Eve party began. Now, I have been in brazil for 3/4 days already, drank more than I ever have, and like any good explorer i need something to bring back to my queen...thats right..the one who does not exist (even if we are staying in the king's house). So for all you ladies out there back stateside, you better watch out, because i learned how to make the meanest Caprinhas the northern hemisphere has ever scene...not those fancy night club crap...this is the real deal, lime, guava, strawberry, kiwi caprinhas with just the right amount of sugar...(note: I learned from our host Steve, the sugarman himself...he heads up brazils sugar/biodiesel program...that, the less sugar you put in the less potent the drink, for increased sweetness add more fruit, however, if you're fancying a particular lady and hoping for a lucky night, two teaspoons of sugar are in order as sugar, when reacting with the canchasa (spelling) reacts in a way that makes the drink more potent)....in any event, the point is that when i get back to NYC, in the cold of winter, a little brazilian sun will be coming our way to Apt. 5A where caprinhas and warm apple pie will be on tap for all!

So after learning the art of mixology, we had dinner and rushed over to the firework display on the water. We had the best view in the town, as we were staying at the King's house, a waterfront property overlooking the fireworks. I was told of a beautiful brazilian tradition where everyone wears white for New years eve. Once the clock strikes midnight, everyone jumps in the water and swims into seven waves which symbolizes something I have forgotten...lets just say/assume ( I am a consultant) it represents good luck...now as we all know, what happens when light white clothes get wet?? So apparently, ones undergarmets says a lot about that person, and the undergarmets for this particular occasion are chosen with much consideration - where red represents passion, yellow-money (gold), white- peace (F***ing hippies)...also people throw in roses to the goddess of the sea....although I dont get why you would throw red roses...I mean are you trying to get it on with the sea? Weird...in any event, it is a particular fancy for brazilian men to pick out the colors of their female compatriots....however, one thing I did not understand was that...its F***ing dark outside! maybe they look afterwards in the car? moving on... the fireworks were out of this world, mainly because they were so close that the ashes were falling at our feet, it was the NYC spirit, glamour, and pomp met with third world style execution...So the bottles of champagne popped, everyone kissed, and we went back to our house to continue the party.

As you may have scene in the pictures, the town is kind of shabby looking on the outside but palatial on the inside. Its warm down here, so how better to celebrate new years then in an enclosed enclave with a pool out of MTV cribs, with banna trees and orchids hanging over head? Seriously, the place makes hollywood/malibu look cheesy...so we dove in for a swim, champagne in hand, music blasting, surrounding by a 15 foot wall with climbing plants...nothing says ëlite"status like a giant wall protecting the garden and pool from the rifraf. The night went into the wee hours of the morning and I took my leave around 4 am after much drinking, smoking, and merriment....although, am not gonna lie, kinda weird when you're mom, the pathologist who taught you to do no wrong, especially when it comes to smoking, stands next to you as you take a drag, or two, or three....yikes...her comment, in a non-challant slightly inebriated happy state " What am I gonna do?" ... I replied...join in? Needless to say...she declined....its 2009....not 1969.

Day 4 - Woke up this morning, plastered myself with pasty white sunscreen to cover my burned forehead, downed two cups of expresso, bought a gilligans hat to protect my ears, and set sail for another beautiful day. I decided to forgo swimming and instead chose to sit on the roof of the boat with a beer and my new book in hand, entitled 2666....was pretty good....after getting some good rays, and possibly some heat stroke, we returned home. Now here is the strange thing about brazil, and i guess other BRIC / developing countries....its called disparity of wealth. Now, as a person raised in the green household I consider myself quite independent, when it comes to cooking, cleaning, planting shrubs, and even navigating an automobile....but here things are done a bit differently. There are 4 attendants in the house, and you're eating a meal its like a 5 star resteraunt in that at least one person is watching you eat and waiting to pounce to get you anything. Well, its the middle of the afternoon, I have the munchies and want to make a sandwich. Our brazilian hosts are no where to be found, and I ask dad the spanish word for sandwich....completely useless. So I am trying to explain that I want to make a sandwich. This turns into a disaster. I find some bread, and like sharades try explaining that you put two pieces of bread together...instead, the attendant (I don't like the word servant, maid, assistant perhaps)?...i digress, anyways, the guy goes to the refrigerator and gets me a beer....very thoughtful...but not what I wanted. So then again, i try explaining, i take out the bread put the pieces together and pretend to eat it, pointing at the gap between the two slices....cammon...do they not have charades down here? Or sandwiches for crying out loud?...this goes on for several minutes where my props tend to get more creative, a knife to "pretend"I am spreading mayo or mustard etc....fed up, and clearly seeing the frustration in the attendants face, eva comes to the rescue, translates in portugese, hands me some turkey and says, Äaron, you can now make your self a sandwich!"...relieved i did what I had not done in 4 days, lifted a finger...and let me tell you...such empowerment felt great! Although, the attendent eyed me with nervousness, as if i was not making the sandwich correctly....finally, just as I began to put the mustard, and food back into the fridge he flipped and insisted in muddled terms that he do that....as gesture of good will, he lunged for the freezer and handed me a cold one....ahh the life in the southern hemisphere.....

Now it is getting late. Dani and I went out to dinner with mom, Dad, Eva and Steve for a early evening (ie before 3-4am) with minimal drinking...only a few beers...so this is why I am able to catch up on all this blogging....ps...dont worry, cooler photos will come when we return but there are two many cameras and slow internet conncections.

Before I sign off - I wanted to address the question everyone is dying to know without sounding like a superficial piece of shit...which you all know I am....so here it goes....so what are brazillian women really like?....I've debated long and hard how to address my experiences thus far....to say I was a bit dissapointed isn't fair....it depends what you are looking for. First of all, they are all tan, like SO-CAL tan but nicer, and yes, they all have huge bootys! and for the most part beautiful faces....but here is the problem...and maybe this is a result of staying in a upper echelon family resort area rather than being in the deep south where supposedly the likes of Gisel and other goddesses emerge or on the rio beaches where sheer probability based on vast numbers of population ensures hottness (Tim...can you verify this mathematical assumption for me?) ...who knows...the bikinis, or lack there of, leave little to the imagination, which in some cases is quite nice, but most often is kind of....hmm...a little too much skin....I guess what comes with a nice booty, which they have, is a little extra padding elsewhere, which is cool if you like really really curvacious women....hey, Im not judging...just observing. And then, out of no where, you see some of the rare beauties, the kind that dont exist elsewhere....but there are only two problems, one more obvious then the other. The first, they are usually flanked by at least one dominant male...never alone, and two, at least according to the women who are with me....and im not gonna judge and say its jealousy...but their immediate responses are inevitablÿ, "She's fake"...apparently thats very often the case with all parts down here...ashame...oh...and the third problem, sort of,...the really really hot ones, are typically sitting on large yachts/sailboats 60-100 foot, docked to a remote island house that specifically says no trespassing, and in the back has a helicopter landing pad, which you would be suprised how frequently gets visited...maybe a drop zone for food, supplies, and other "key" life essentials that need to be rotated quickly...so yeah, again not judging, just observing...one thing I have come to realize, I had an ok bonus this year...but by the looks of it I got some major work to do if Im gonna play with the big boys....but who knows, maybe my luck will improve later in the week..any event, Im going to bed, .to be continued at during my next sober run....